This Confuses Me
by VivaLaDoitsu
Summary: It's a normal day in the North American household and America decides to make tro-Is Gilbert painting his nails on the floor? Why are Norway and Spain watching Mexican soap operas! Read this crackfic to find out! WARNING: REALLY STUPID


**A/N: Hey you all!**

**This is really stupid and silly.**

**No, really, it's stupid.**

**IT'S LIKE 100000000% STUPID IF YOU DON'T LIKE CRACKFICS THEN PLEASE DON'T BOTHER.**

**Well, on with the story!**

**Name: **This Confuses Me

**Pairings in this chapter: **None

**Word Count: **883

**Warnings: **Cursing, mostly.

It was a totally normal day…

Okay, as normal as you get in the North America house. Matthew had busied himself all morning with cleaning every part of the place while Alfred went to run some errands. Matthew was used to cleaning and even enjoyed it after living for such a long time with his messy brother. Alfred was very loud too so when said nation opened the door and caused a ruckus Matthew only sighed.

"Hey Mattie! My friends are coming over!" several voices were heard from the entrance which alerted Canada that said friends were already there.

"No, get the fuck out, I just finished cleaning" he yelled back, then went to the door to see just who was there.

"Mattie! You look so sexy in that apron" Prussia said, earning an elbow on his ribs from Alfred.

"Oh yeah, look I got you this" Alfred handed Matthew a rolled up poster, he straightened it out and found a picture of moose wearing shades with a stack of pancakes standing in a rainbow-colored background and the letters 'And in that moment I swear we were moose' on top.

"Wow thanks, remind me to burn your shit later" Matthew said as he eyed the thing.

"Oh come on!"

"What is this supposed to be anyways?"

"Dunno man, saw it and thought you would like it, be grateful"

"Yeah… err, okay no chips, no eating in the couch and keep your nail polish off my floor" he eyed the rest of the nations. Romano was talking with Prussia about which colors he wanted his nails to be and Spain was arguing with Norway about a soap opera they were currently watching.

"Bummer! Okay, guys come on in!" Alfred yelled, the four nations walked in and greeted Matthew pleasantly before plopping themselves on the couch.

"Alfred! Hurry up and don't forget the sparkly nail polishes! I want my mani-pedi to look awesome like me!" Prussia yelled as he took selfies with Romano and uploaded them in instagram.

"Um… mani-pedi… okay"

"I swear to God, Spain, Don José is going to marry Magdalena and that's final!"

"No way! He's totally inlove with Miss Catalina!"

Needless to say that fifty minutes later the house was not as clean as the Canadian would've liked.

"Oh my God no! Juanita belongs with Don José! I am done!" Matthew yelled into the air, staring at the Mexican actors in the screen.

"Are you fucking kidding me? She belongs with Carlos! Ugh get your shit straight, Canada" Norway replied.

"You're new at this aren't you?" Spain eyed him disdainfully.

"You're kidding! She had his son!"

"That was her evil twin, María!" the other two yelled for what it felt like the 100th time.

(On the other side of the room)

"No Prussia, for the last time! PINK ISN'T YOUR COLOR"

"Try green, asshole"

"If I could've gotten red then none of this would be happening" Prussia glared at Romano, who was drying his nails with his breath.

"I won, get over it"

"No! You always do this I am tired of your shit!"

"Haha see how many fucks I don't give"

"You fucking midget"

"What did you just call me?"

"Your eyes are uneven and you're fat and you're an attention whore and you're dumb and I bet the only reason you have good grades is because you sleep with your teachers. Also, I had sex with your boyfriend. And also I deleted you off facebook and unfollowed you and I hope you live alone for the rest of your life and even your cats run away from you. PS your mom is sleeping with her yoga teacher. Bye, bitch." Prussia recited.

"Did you just read that off tumblr"

"Um, duh"

"You wanna go punk?!"

"Guys I want blue!" Alfred yelled.

"No one fucking cares Al, shut up and let me watch tv! Don José is about to reveal that he is Rosa's biological father and Lupita's half brother" Matthew yelled.

"Oh my God, rude, Matthew, spoiler alert, not all of us saw the preview gosh"

"Who cares, Doña Elena and Margarita are both dating Fernando"

"Ugh, done with you Matthew"

"Yeah"

Suddenly the door opened and Denmark entered the room.

"Sorry for being late guys! What are we watching? Oh is that the soap where the mobster dude ends up marrying his half-sister's mother's cousin's long lost daughter without knowing and everyone dies except the lead woman who escapes to the USA with the baby she had with her best friend's husband?"

"DENMARK WE WERE BARELY ON SEASON 1"

"Kill him!"

"HOW COULD SHE SLEEP WITH ERNESTO HE WAS SO FUCKING UGLY"

"I TOLD YOU MARÍA FERNANDA ROSA AGUIRRE FRANCO VALENCIA WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR!"

"No ok, get the real ice cream this is an emergency" Norway said.

"WE'RE HAVING AN EMERGENCY TOO!" Alfred yelled.

"What happened?"

"MY NAIL BROKE!" They heard Prussia yell.

Matthew never got his cleaning done that day.

He also never got over the soap opera.


End file.
